And..She's...OFF

Joslyn is crawling, has started to pull herself up on furniture, and walks along it. She has decided to do all of this in about 1 month. When she turned 7 months she was just getting up on her knees and rocking back and forth, but no forward motion. She could scoot backwards though. Shes come along way and at the rate shes going she MAY even be walking about the same time Kylyn was. Joslyn will be 8 months in 5 days, and then she has a month from then to start taking steps away from the furniture to be at the same physical moter development rate Kylyn was. We'll see what happens!

Read more...

My 3yr old Ballerina Princess

I ♥ this bear

I made this tutu for her as well as a practice. I think it turned out OK.

My princess is growing up so quick it makes me sad, but it helps that shes so beautiful. Her personality cant even begin to be captured in a simple image. She is a firecracker in my dull life at home. She definatly keeps me on my toes with her imagination, and energy. I think back to being 17years old, and finding out I was pregnant. I remember hearing the advice and hearing the offers for people take me into ND so I could privatly end my pregnacey and allow people to think I had miscarried. To think people suggested ending the life of the precious little girl in her tutu above. She was a completely unplanned surprise pregnancy, and it was a mistake I made that got me pregnent, but wow...When you give your mistakes to God, can he turn a ugly mistake into something beautiful and valueable or what?! I thank God for forgiving me, and taking my garbage, and allowing me to continue on with a healthy pregnany, which in turn, ended up being the most beautiful little girl imaginable. (Joslyn too of course)

Read more...

Spring?------ Is That You?

The winter was long, exciting, boring, and of course, cold. I don't enjoy winter for the most part. I like snow for Christmas, and that is about it. I love the sweet smell of fresh cut grass, the wonderful sight of flowers, beaches, sprinklers, and games being played outside in the cool of the evening. Aw...summer. How I love thee. I even enjoy fall, breaking out the sweaters, warm cups of coffee, tea, coco, and cyder, and of course throwing Kylyn in the leaves and watching her face as she leaves her daddy's arms to take a quick trip into the air and land in a high pile of crunchy leaves. I enjoy fall. Spring isn't so bad either...but its mostly wet, flooding everywhere, mud everywhere, still cold, but yet it hold the promise of summer and that's something I do look forward to. Winter on the other hand...is ugh. The fun crunchy leaves are either swooped up and taken away by wind or the leaf collector, or buried under dreadful white frozen rain. I become a hermit and leave my home only when necessary, I watch the birds leave, and the trees and pants die for the season. (Yes, I know the trees don't actually die) I get in a mood. A sad mood...hopeless and dreadful. It only gets the tiniest bit better when we have a warm sunny day, in which the temperature is above 30 degrees. Aw Spring. You have arrived.

My tulips are coming in everywhere, the snow in our yard is nearly gone, but it sure left a muddy brown yucky mess. Yeah. I just know that the warmer it gets the closer Summer is to being outside my door. That in itself is enough to cause a smile to be plastered across my face for longer then a few minutes. Joy. Zack and I have talked about our plans for the summer on what to do as far as fixing up the outside. Ideas of planting a vegetable garden, making a short term path from the driveway to our front door, fixing the flower garden by laying down weed barer, purchasing some small bushes/shrubs, possibly (hopefully) putting up a fence, even the idea of painting the trim of our ugly brown house white, and staining our deck. All this talk of outdoor plans makes me, well, excited! I enjoy being outside, but not in an empty yard open to a close road, in which stupid teenage kids are speeding by throughout the year. I am paranoid for sure about Kylyn getting struck by a vehicle, or Joslyn who will be walking this summer wobbly walking out into the road and being hit. Even writing that made me cringe.

Zack and I also have thrown around the idea of purchasing bikes for him and I, and then getting one of those double seat pull-behinds, so we can take the girls on bike rides. I think it would aso be so enjoyable for the girls if we got a shallow kiddie pool. Something we could fill, covor, and let the sun warm up a bit ahead of time before the girls hop in. Joslyn got a baby swing for Christmas this year as well, so I'm sure she will love that. If all of this gets done, and a few of our remodeling ideas get accomplished, (the basement, and master bedroom..possibly a sitting room)...it will be a good summer. Lets hope, cross our fingers, and pray the Lord blesses us this year...for my mentality's sake. God is so good, and even though this house is not at all perfct or remotely close to being to my liking, I am overly joyed that I HAVE a house, a roof to covor my head and the heads of my husband and daughters. I am blessed beyond comprehension to have food in my fridge, shoes on my feet (not at the presant time) and such amazing family to stand by me. I am trusting and praying that God will bless our family whether it be here on Earth or in His Kindom in Heaven, because He has promised this to me.

Spring, I bid thee welcome, please bring Summer close behind you, and Summer...please. Stay for a LONG while. :)

Read more...

FINALLY!! TUMMY TIME!!

Joslyn up until about 4+ months dispised with a passion her tummy time. The moment her belly hit the mat, floor, or crib, she screamed like someone was trying to kill her, finally she was on her tummy for a few minutes and she didnt start to scream bloddy murder. She wasnt so good at rolling over though. If she got frustraited she just planted her face into the ground and screamed until someone came and picked her up. She was doing something more then just laying there on her back non stop moving her arms and legs, but compared to Kylyn she was stiff, and quite behind. by her age Kylyn was sitting unsupported, scooting on the floor, and on her hands and knees rocking back and forth trying to figure out how to crawl. I was still scared something was wrong with her for her to be so behind her big sister, and slow compared to some of the other babys born in August. I knew though she was born early, and had a rough get going, so I shouldn't expect her to be excelling and to be so advanced.

I hate comparing....but why cant I stop? I feel like a bad mommy.

I had to put a cute sleeping photo in here.

 On her tummy! Sorry for the spittle in the corner of her mouth....probably should have wipped that, huh? (the other hand in there is Kylyns hand.)

 Not just on her tummy, but on her tummy looking half way happy!

I just think this one is super cute.

Read more...

UM...? I Hate You Scale

I knew women gained weight with pregnency, and that they have to work their butts off afterwords to get back into some semi version of  'good shape' or 'pre-baby shape'. But this is just stupid.

Heres the run down and tell me how it makes any sense to you that this is ok, and perfectly normal.

Pre Joslyn I weighed 119lbs

4-5months pregnant I weighed 102-105lbs

8-9months pregnant I weighed 123lbs

Pretty good!! ONLY gained a few lbs on top of my prebaby body..although that prebody baby I thought was pretty gross in the first place, and was working my butt off to try get into better shape just before we found out we were pregnant.

1 week post partum I weighed 105lbs! YES!!!

6.5months post partum I weigh 122lbs....

WHAT THE HECK?!?!

That means I have a uterus full of water, two milk filled boobs, double my normal blood volume weight, and a 6lb +oz baby just in  PURE BODY FAT sitting under my skin making me look like something I promised myself I would never let myself look like. Yuck....

Today, and until I am back into my sweet, awesome, physically fit body. I dislike clothes, leaving my house, or doing anything in which someone may see me in this disgusting state of physical form.

Please note, I have a severe case of fat phobia...not on others, just me. If I see someone heavier set I dont even notice! But...I cant stand to see myself. Seriously its soo bad I have to get undressed and dressed before and after I shower BEHIND the curton. I cry, I gag, I puke, I get nervous and panicy, I shake....I basically have panic attacks when I think about having this fat on my body. As I type this im feeling antsy. I blame this fat phobia on my mother...when I was about 7years old I was down in the basement of our parsenage in Grenfell SK CA. watching opera with my mom. It was about a woman who didnt care what she ate or that her life was now ridding on loosing weight. She didnt care, she said at least Ill die happy...sadly her poor family who loved her didnt want her to be this way, they wanted their mother back, their children wanted their grandma back, and wanted to be able to do things with her instead of just sit in the livingroom of her home visiting because she never got off the couch. How sad...and what a sad life for that woman that was...well lets face it she was fat plain and simple. So Oprah had a doctor come and bring a plastic container containing 1 lbs of pure body fat. I remember at this point almost throwing up. Then the woman proceeded to explain how it wasnt sooo bad. The doctor explain the risks of heart attack, back, and joint issues from carrying that much excess weight, and she just didnt care. Her daughter who weighed at that time she same as her mother did 25yrs go around her same age was asked by the doctor to put on a vest, and leg weights, and back weights, and wrist weights all of which equalled what her mom was carrying around on her body daily. The daughter put the stuff on and after a few minutes was out of breath and her heart rate was up...she broke down in tears when she realized how her mom was being so LITERALLY held back from life by this fat consuming her body.  ANYWAY . . .  the image of the pure body fat in that tub...has impacted me in good ways, and not so good ways. Therefore I have a severe fear of fat on my body. Just the idea of it makes my skin crawl.
Thanks Oprah....thanks alot.

So here I am...too overweight for my liking.

Read more...

TOO LONG

Wow, my last post was Joslyns 7wk photos?! How awful am I lately at keeping my blog up to date? How much has happened in life since then? Alot. Much too much to list, but I cant try. Riiiigggghhhttt??

OK, so this is gonna be written weird since I'm telling of my life, and how it relates to Joslyn and Kylyn and being a mommy when Joslyn was 8-9weeks old, when at present Joslyn is 6.5 months, and Kylyn is 3. A Little off but that's ok.

Keep in mind this post is past, as in this past fall, not actually in present time.

I admit I was awfully concerned about Joslyns progress as far as movement and capability to do things. My first, Kylyn, was so advanced. Scooting, sitting unsupported, crawling, walking, and talking all before 11months easy. Joslyn? Not so much. She pretty much was perfectly content laying there and staring at anyone who would meet her eye to eye. Didnt squawk much, or squeal. Just lied perfectly still, Turing her head from side to side every so often to follow someones figure passing her by.

I was constantly comparing her to stats based on other August babies born around the same time as her, or comparing her against her sister when she was the same age...no matter what Joslyn always seemed sooo far behind. It drove me crazy to read how my friends babies were scooting on their tummy's, sitting up, crawling etc...when all my baby seemed to do was be content being a lazy lump of human baby flesh watching life, instead of making any effort to join in. It made me almost upset at times...it was so hard to NOT compare. When I did compare I got upset at the results, and at the fact that I just compared my daughters even though I swore I never would. I know Kylyn was 2 weeks over due,and Joslyn came nearly 4 weeks early, and spent time in the NICU, so I had to expect and accept her behing a little behind as normal, but I didnt want to. Kylyn was always so advanced, and entertaining, and so fun. She was nearly everyday doing something new and exciting, but Joslyn didnt coo, sqwak, roll over, do anything! Every once in a while she would smile or make some attempt at interacting, but she was soo different then what I was used to a baby being like! I knew she was normal, and just a different person then Kylyn. How could I have expected them to be exactly the same as far as growth and developement?

Kylyn grew increasingly jealous, with time, of Joslyn. Kylyn with no doubt loves and adores Joslyn, but she doesnt like when people come over and want to check out Joslyn first thats for sure...She about throws a royal fit when I have to stop playing with her, or stop watching her do something to tend to Joslyn. She stomps and whines and fusses when its time to give Joslyn a bath, or lay her down for a nap, or make her a bottle. I wasnt even sure how to deal with the problem. I knew to her it was becoming a competition for my time. Before Joslyn I stayed home everyday all day with Kylyn and we were like best friends. Every waking moment seemed to be spent together in one way or another. This time sharing thing was different and at times hard for both of us. As time has gone on its gotten better, but we still have our moments.

So...this is kinda the run down of Joslyn Kylyn and I and how my life as a mommy was @ 8-9wks post partum.

OH the joys, ups and downs, excitement, and boredum of being a mother.

 Kylyn and Joslyn out in the leaves....aww I love fall.

 Me and my girlies

 Daddy and his Girls

My beautiful baby Girl-Joslyn.

 Getting sleepy

 Smirking in her sleep

Joslyn and Geroldine the giraffe

 Kylyn going to a fall tea party with some other little girls

 Kylyn at halloween in her ballerina fairy princess wardrobe

♥ Sweet sisterly love ♥

Read more...

Time flys so I'll capture it in a memory and photo

Joslyn at 7wks 5days old. 2nd photoshoot with mommy.

Read more...

Birth Story from my point of view.

I am foolish to be awake right now, but I am. Both the girls are asleep, and I'm wide awake. Why? Not entirely sure, but my mind is wandering. Kylyn is going to be Three in February, and Joslyn is already over a month old. I cant believe how time flys! It seems Kylyn was just born, and now Joslyns here and shes already a month old! I cant believe it..I havnt even written out my birth story really besides a time line of events leading up to Joslyn. I guess its time I did so.


August 2nd I had my regualr appointment with my Dr. and I had a c-section schedualed for the 9th. I knew I would go into labor for some reason before my CS and while my doctor was away on a trip for a family/friends birthday party.
That night I started having contractions or what I thought were just braxton hicks at the time. They came and went but time wise were fairly consistant, and always came in sets of 4-12 at a time. They continued day and night...by the 4th I woke up at night and was concerned that she was not moving as much. I watched it carefully throughout the night, and by morning she was moving more and i figured she was just running out of room to move around in...that night i did kick counts and she was good,so I went to bed. I usually woke up a few times a night to pee or just get comfortable again, and by morning I realized i hadnt felt her move at all since I did my kick counts. Zack had gone to work about 30min before, so this had to be around 6am I decided to wake up for the day, and drank some pop -for sugar, and ate something in hopes to get her moving again. When I didnt feel anything after a while I just called Zack and told him to come home...we needed to go to the doctor because something wasnt right. By the time he got home and we were on our way I had felt her move very sluggishly a few times...I was still concerned, so we proceeded to the doctor.  My doctor was of course gone still till the 8th. I was in labor. I wasnt happy, but I was sort of excited? I dont even know how to describe. It felt surreal, like it wasnt actually going to happen because I wasnt ready for it to happen. I was excited to meet my little girl, but I didnt feel like it was gonna happen that day. They prepped me for my cs and I was so tired, and just out of it. I went through the sugury, and after they took her out I was beginning to regain feeling in my stomach, they gave me some medication to keep me numb as long as possible, but it didnt work too well. I went to recovery knoing she was having a few minor breathing issues more likely because of the sugrical delivery rather then a vaginal dilevery. I was told a few times it was nothing to be worried about. When I got into my room finally Zack told me she hadnt gotten better yet.  I asked if I could be wheeled in there to see her but they wouldnt let me. That night she only got worse, and they were going to have to bring her to Gf because the Thief River hospital didnt have the equipment Joslyn was requireing. She needed a NICU.

They brought her in and I saw her for a few breif minutes held her hand and touched her, and then she was gone to grand forks. Zack spent the night and went to Gf to visit her in the morning. I wished I could go, but just having surgury less then 24hrs previous, it wasnt going to happen.

Zack left that morning to visit Joslyn and I was jealous and mad I couldnt go. I missed Kylyn, and I was just angry all around that nothing had gone how it was suposed to. I was suposed to be looking down at my precious baby girl in my arms, introducing her to her big sister, bringing her home to her room I worked so hard on...I was suposed to be enjoying my stay in the hospital with my new baby and husband, but instead I was sitting in a bed, alone, staring aimlessly out my hospital window with a cut across my stomach and no baby in my arms to show for it. This wasnt the way things were supposed to go at all. I was scared, sad, upset...not the typical feelings besides maybe scared, that a mom should be feeling in the hospital the day after her baby is born. Even my hospital room made me sad. My hospital room with Joslyn was the same as with Kylyn accept with Joslyn she and I were in totally different towns in totally different hospitals. :(

I was sad and scared I prayed the Lord would heal her, and that she would be back to me or release within the next two days, but when Zack came back from visiting her he didnt have good news. She was worse yet. :( We at this point didnt know how serious of condition she was in because one doctor would sound calm and chipper as could be and say her issues were minor, another would have a more serious demnior and make it sound a bit more serious....by the 7th I was released, and we went home. We had heard earlier that day there was a possibility she would need to be transfered to Fargo. We got home unpacked and repacked for either Fargo or grandforks we didnt even know. They called our house and said they were going to go ahead and send her to Fargo.

We were on our way, and I was going to see her for the first time since that 3 seconds in the OR and that few minutes in the hospital room before they transfered her the first time to Grandforks. I was a ball of nerves...excited, scared, sad, angry, happy, confused, curious,...

When I saw her ... this is the part were any normal person would say 'nothing could have prepared me for seeing my baby in that state or condition' but..for some reason when I saw her I was relieved to see she was getting ALL the help she could get, and from such wonderful people and staff. She was #1 priority there in the NICU, and had 24/7 watch. I knew she was in good care, and I knew that God had her in His hands, and again even standing next to her holding her finger I could do nothing to save her life but trust in the Lord, Pray and know that before I even knew she was going to exist, God already knew her fate. He knew what was going to happen, and I had peace knowing that. We are glad to have her home today and in our arms, but we would have been just as accepting knowing she was with her Creator, and that she had served her given purpose here on Earth as God had intended her to do. We are glad He let us have her longer. :)

Everything else happend as it did, and it was a roller coaster of news and info between the Doctors, Nurses, Nurse Pracs, and us, but zack and I made the experiance differnt then the typical person might think. We had fun! We enjoyed eachothers company, we just had fun together. We needed it as strange as it sounds, God had a bigger plan then Joslyn being sick, it was good for Zack and I. It was good for us as parents to Kylyn, and to Joslyn.  We made it out alive, but not just that, we made it out laughing, happy, thankful, and ready for whatever happend next. God is soo good.

Today Joslyn is healthy and happy here at home with her family. She has 3 great grandpas, 3 great grandmas, 2 grandpas, 2 grandmas, 3 aunts, 2 uncles, 1 big sister, and a mommy and a daddy who all love her very very much.

Read more...

SISTERS

Read more...

Joslyns 1st Photoshoot With Mommy

Well she did fairly well, but at the beginning refused to stay in any position I wanted hah. I got a few cute ones with her bear, but that was when she not cooperating. They turned out good. I love the bear and the flower if you didnt notice. The flower actually was a headband gifted to Joslyns older sister Kylyn from her uncle and aunite Nathan and Janna. It made for a good prop while she is still small. The bear her daddy and I found in Fargo. The most expensive teddy bear we will ever purchase! lol We bought if for Joslyn as a going home gift from the hospital to remember the experiances there by. We found it in the hospitals gift shop, and purchased it when we heard how well she was doing and that we could take her home in a few days! We brought it too her and it sat on a perfect little shelf in her station until we could bring her home!

I hope anyway to keep the bear in good condition so as she gets older I can put it in a hope box, and when she is older we can give it to her when she has kids. Its a good reminder as well of how good,and great our God is. He took care of our little Joslyn and saw her through serious health issues SO early in her life. Because of HIM we have a beautiful healthy baby girl at home with her mommy, daddy and big sister. Right where we wanted her.

  

Read more...

First Bath in The Tub

Joslyns First bath at home in the bathtub. She did really well once we poured some nice warm water on her.

She is such a good baby!

4wks old.

Read more...

2wks & 3wks

My tiny baby girl

2wks

Pretty baby girl sleeping.

3wks

Read more...

Sisters Meet for the First Time

pics

Read more...

Joslyn Harriet Hanson

pics

Read more...

Leaving the Hosptial

Holding her right before we packed up her things, got her situated in her car seat, and were discharged.

Snug as a bug in the car seat. Safe and sound for the journy home.

 

Daddy and Joslyn on our room in night at the hospital.  

Read more...

HOME!!

Joslyn was unable to e discharged Monday due to no weight gain, and a cough that concerned the doctors a bit, but after being evaluated Monday evening the cough seemed to be less and less concerning. Just seemed to be getting too excited for food when being fed and wouldn't stop to take a few breaths. We worked with it, and we have seemed to correct it OK. It was now just an issue of her weight. In a very short amount of time she was loosing alot of weight. She was being fed on demand 60-70mls of breastmilk via bottle, and still continued to drop until Tuesday...she gained 2gms, and with that we were sent home. She did wonderful in her carseat on the way home, and slept of course the entire way. We stopped in Grandforks to wake her up, feed her, and eat ourselves. We arrived home close to 4pm.

Joslyn was welcomed by her auntie Noelle, and sister Kylyn as we walked in the door, and later by her other auntie Brooke. They all love her of course. Kylyn is especially excited over her. A little jealous and having a hard time not being the center of every ones attention 24/7 anymore, but thats something we will deal with day by day Im sure. Jealous or not, shes happy to finally see her baby sister. She wanted to hold her right away, and did wonderful. Kylyn is my little helper. :) -- right along with her live in auntie Brooke. Later Tuesday night my mom, and sister Noelle brought us over super, and my mom met her for the very first time. Even later that night my mom and dad brought over a few groceries, and my dad got to meet Joslyn for the first time. Then we said our good byes and good nights.

Joslyn is a very good baby at night. Just like her sister Kylyn. I HAVE to wake her up though every 3-4hours to feed her because of her weight issues, ut as soon as we are clear of that - her weight is being checked 2x a wk for 2wks - we're sleeping till she decides. Some parents really are strict on feedings, waking them up even if they would sleep a bit longer before waking up on their own to be fed...I am not that way. So shes a good sleeper and I love it. Shes also an awesome eater, sometimes a stubborn burper, but all around and amazing baby girl, whom I adore.

Today is our first full day home. Shes done wonderful. We cant wait to see how her weight check is tomorrow, and hope to only hear good news on her health checks from here on out!

Thank you to all those who have remembered our family especially our little Joslyn in your prayers. She was -> this <- close to a heart/lung bi pass surgery... but turned the corner just in time. She is now a happy healthy baby girl at home with her auntie, sister, mommy, and daddy. God is so good. Thank you to all his servants!

Read more...

Excited beyond belief

Her PICC line is out, and she passed her carseat tolerence test. Tomorrow she will retake her hearing test, and her carseat test. Tomorrow the grandparents are coming to visit, and someone will take Kylyn back to Karlstad. Tomorrow night Zack and I will be spending the night at the hosptial in one of the rooms there reserved for 'rooming in' parents, and will have Joslyn for the first time overnight with us. Monday she will have her last dose of with drawl easer meds, and will hopefully be sent home!!

Read more...

Oh To God Be The Glory

They are still planning on taking her PICC line out as of today, and they cut her medication in half as well...I cant think of the right name for it, but its purpose is to ease the withdrawal symptoms from the Fentanyl, which she has shown no set backs with. Her last dose is for Monday.


Today she is taking her car seat tolerance test. She has to sit in her car seat for 2hrs straight, while they monitor her oxygen intake. She can’t drop below a 90% the entire time. If she falls below that then we will discuss going home Monday, or Tuesday and how long she can handle being in a sitting position before her level of oxygen is effected. If she does good and passes the tolerance test and has no set backs with her ‘withdrawal easer’ medication she will be coming home maybe Monday or Tuesday!!! The doctor is shooting for Monday. Sunday night we get to sleep at the hospital and ‘room in’ with her… we are very excited.

It is hard to believe she was in serious critical condition, and was heading in the direction health wise of being sent to the cities for a heart lung bypass only a week ago from today. Go has blown away the nurses and Doctors with Joslyn’s progress. The doctor can’t stop saying how good Joslyn is making him look. God has been so good to us! Thank you for everyone who has been supporting and lifting up our family in prayer. May God bless you!

Read more...

We have lots of good news

Joslyn is doing splendid. She is in an open crib, off any support for breathing of any kind, is only on antibiotics, so she still has her PICC line in but that should be out tomorrow. She is eating 1oz of breast milk every 3hrs, and seems to take it very well. On top off all this, Zack and I have our daughter Kylyn with us, and even though we have to go in to see Joslyn separately since Kylyn isn’t old enough to enter the NICU, we both got to hold our precious new bundle for the first time tonight. It was heaven to finally be able to hold my baby.
It’s been lots of fun having Kylyn with us while we are down here. She is a handful, but we love it. We really wish we could introduce Kylyn to her sister now, but it will have to wait until Joslyn is discharged, and ready to go home for good! Kylyns handling it well and we hope to have her meet with a counselor that can explain at a 2.5yr old level about her baby sister. It’s a sibling’s class where they use dolls, pictures, games etc…to explain what being a big sibling is like, about babies, and will explain in a toddler way why Joslyn is sick, and why Kylyn can’t see her yet.

We are excited for tomorrow, so we get to hold her more, and maybe possibly breastfeed for the first time. It is expected to be hard to start off with since she went from a feeding tube, to bottles, and has yet to be fed by me exclusively, which was what we had hoped to do before she was born. Hopefully, Joslyn and I will get the hang of it quickly, and we can go home maybe sometime mid to end of next week!

Sunday Zack’s folks are coming to visit, and meet Joslyn for the first time, my parents were planning on coming, but we might be heading home Sunday evening ourselves for a day or two depending on when they think Joslyn will be sent home, in which case they may just wait to meet her till we bring her home.

I am just bubbling with joy over getting to hold her this evening. She is so small. Smaller then Kylyn was. I came in just as the station nurse was finishing up a 1oz bottle with her. I got to burp her, and then I just cuddled with her. I hummed and she opened her eyes just a crack to check out where the noise was coming from…smiled a few times from gas. It was a wonderful way to spend 30min. Then Zack went in, and held her while Kylyn and I watched funniest home videos, I gave her a back/neck massage, and ate granola bars together. It was an awesome evening. Now Daddy and Kylyn are pooped out around me sleeping soundly.

Excited for what the Lord has for us tomorrow.

Also please pray for Joslyn as she took her hearing test today and failed in her right ear. Hearing loss is a common side effect to the hypertension. We will find out tomorrow maybe more whether this is perminant, or not. She will take another hearing test as well to double check, not sure when that will be taking place though.

Read more...

Back to Fargo Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning we head back to Fargo. Zack got his car looked at but we decided not to get it fixed. The issue is the cars security system . . . after the car is shut off; it will not turn over and start for 10minutes. To get it fixed it will cost anywhere from $400 and up.

The issue could just be the key being slightly worn, so we are using the spare key, and so far so good. Lets hope that’s what it is, so we don’t have any trouble once we leave.

We called the NICU tonight and got a update on Joslyn. She is still continuing to do well. The doctor we really like is going to be there all weekend so we are happy. At 7pm he called to let us know she was getting her umbilical line out, and was upped on her feedings to 17ml of breast milk every 3 hours. She is handling them well, so maybe even tomorrow we can try for the first time breastfeeding! I am very excited because this means I will possibly be holding my daughter for the first time in our lives. She was a week old Thursday, so it’s kind of a big deal! She was 23 on oxygen earlier, but then bumped back up to 29 or so…as of tonight at 12am she was back down to 24. She is not on CPAP anymore, but on something else…I can’t think of what its called, nasal something…either way its better then CPAP, so it’s still good news.

The doctor said she will be in a open crib hopefully by the end of next week, and once we get her feedings down and she is gaining adequate weight we can take her home!! We are guessing we will be home with our baby girl sometime between the 20th and the 31st.

We are so excited, but the time she will be there is making things difficult especially in the area of finances. Zack needs to work, and I need to be in Fargo, we have Kylyn, which we would like to have with us as much as possible. We found out today Zack’s employer does not offer paternity leave, so he has to work things out with his manager. We are hoping this wont become an issue and Zack can get the time off we need. We are hoping to be home again maybe even as soon as Sunday so he can work a couple days putting in 12hr shifts. During this time they will have to bottle feed Joslyn using my stored milk. It’s going to be rough, but I think we can make things work. We know the Lord will provide for us, and has a plan in everything. We are trying to just stay open minded, and allow for some flexibility.

We are at such a deep peace with how things are going. Zack and I have come to understand that worry does no good. It wont make us feel better, it wont make Joslyn better, it wont make things go the way we hope they would…Worry is in fact something we as Christians are not supposed to do. Zack and I have given the situation and everything that comes with it to the Lord, knowing and taking peace that before we were even aware Joslyn existed, the Lord knew all about her, about her life, her future. We know He is in control, and in everything that happens we can only give Him praise.

Thank you for all your prayers! It means so much to Zack and I to have such a army of prayer warriors standing with us. We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for remembering our family in your thoughts and prayers.

Read more...