So! I Have Given Into Temptaion

I have been rather good the entire pregnancy on the issue of having coffee. I have read LOTS about the effects of caffeine during pregnancy, and found a lot of it to be true. The one cup of coffee a day seems to be the most common. Well, not being a HUGE fan, or addict of coffee it hasn’t been hard to just avoid it when I can. I have had a total of about 3 cups of coffee total the entire time that I have been pregnant with this baby, but today I caved.


I was SO tired, and in such a dire need for energy that a little water and exercise was not seeming to give me, I drank 2.5 cups of coffee. Do I feel sick? No. Do I feel jittery? Not really, no. Do I feel better? MUCH!

I dont plan on doing this everyday, but today I made the rational choice that the benefits of drinking some coffee would defiantly outweigh the negative effects that 2.5 cups would have on my body. I'm very satisfied with my choice to drink it.

I have been a much more entertaining mommy to my daughter, I have enjoyed being outside with her feeding the turtles we moved outside yesterday. (After building the little turtle outdoor pond at my mom and dads) Its been a fun day so far...I have been singing on random, just loving my daughter to pieces. I especially love her chocolate covered face right now. :) There’s nothing like a blue eyed, curly blond haired, smiling girl, taking with that cute toddler voice, from a mouth covered with chocolate from ear to ear, and neck to eye. I love her to pieces for sure!

I keep wondering how having a baby so soon after moving into a new house will affect her. All these life changing changes all at once for a toddler might be daunting, and I’m not so sure how Kylyn will handle them….or how I will as a mom trying to help her through them. We plan on making EXTRA time for Kylyn giving her attention when the baby comes so she doesn’t feel so left out, or like we love her less then before when she was our one and only child.

She does seem excited to have a baby sister, as she talks to my tummy all the time, telling her baby sister to “come out!” It’s the cutest thing to wake up to in the morning when Kylyn is still in her super cuddly mood. She always wants to kiss my tummy, talk to it, rub it with the ‘Oh so famous Palmers anti-stretch cream’ lotion, and feel her moving around kicking her hands wherever she moves them. I love watching her facial expressions when she feels the baby kick, or move. She always oo’s and awe’s at it.

Well, its time for me to go and push my princess on the swing, and then take her dolly on a walk. She’s practicing being a good big sister with her dolly…we have to work on picking the doll up by the head. Its an ongoing process.

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28 Weeks Already?!

To my dear sweet baby girl,


The day your beautiful auntie Brooke (mommy’s youngest sister) graduated from high school I hit my 28 week milestone. I made it into the ‘safer’ zone.

I read on a website called Babycenter.com about other women who are due in August, which is the month you are due to be born, who have gone into labor and delivered babies long before their time. Some of these little ones have survived against all odds, but still face the expected ups and downs, surgeries, and handicaps due to being born so early and were just not ready.

Sadly most have gone on to be with Jesus in Heaven. It makes me sad to read about these mommies who are or were right there with me in pregnancy go through these things. Their babies being whisked away to the NICU as their only chance of survival, some undergoing surgeries, others were only born already gone to the Lord. How hard it must be for those moms, dads, siblings and other friends and family to deal with. I hope that I never have to find out how hard it really is. My prayers go out to those who do know.

These stories make me realized how blessed I am for very day, every week my body can carry you, and keep you safe. All I want is for you to be healthy, and happy, and for you to make it, grow up in the Lord, and live your life as he purposed when He molded you inside my body. I love you my precious baby girl, and I only wish the best for you, and for your eternal soul. You are so important to your daddy and I. Kylyn doesn’t know it yet, but you are important to her as well. You are such a blessing, and I’m happy to feel you kick my bladder, and stick your foot under my rib cage…I know lots of mommies wish they could feel those things right now.

On to a lighter note. From here on out its doctors appointments every 2 weeks, instead of every 4 weeks, and at 36 weeks we move from every 2 weeks seeing the doctor, to every week. I am very excited because June 3rd we schedule your birthday, and hope you don’t come before it!

I heard your heartbeat Friday, and it was so reassuring to hear. Towards the end everything seems to get scary. Every cramp, gas pain, ligament pain, back pain, etc seems to cause me reason to be concerned but for a moment. Eloise said everything looked and sounded great, that my uterus was measuring at 27 weeks (which was a week off but still very good) my weight was good, my blood pressure was good…it all looked good.

We discussed issues about the c-section, which is how you will be delivered. Everything was reassuring. I am getting more and more excited to see that pretty little face, and hope that it’s a pretty little face and not a handsome one!  Crossing my fingers the tech was right, and we aren’t spending too much time preparing for a girl when we need to be getting ready for a boy!

I Love You,
Mommy

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Another Milestone Down...How Many To Go?

To my dear sweet baby…GIRL, (we think)


I was overly happy to get to the 18-20 week stretch when I knew we would have the anatomy scan/ultrasound and could (if you cooperated) see your gender! I was SO extreamly nervous but oh so excited, because I wanted so badly to know if you were a boy or a girl. The ultrasound tech said he wasn’t positive, but he thought maybe that you were probably a girl…not very assuring. I wished we could have gotten a clearer shot, but all in all your heart was healthy, you had nothing wrong with you that the tech could find. Your measurements were all wonderful, although you were measuring almost 2 entire weeks behind. Overall you were a healthy growing baby girl.

Your ultrasound photos were adorable, you moved and moved and moved. It can be uncomfortable at times but I know there are many women out there in this world who would give anything to feel their baby move…whether it be because they have lost their baby, or if they just can’t get pregnant. I am truly blessed to feel uncomfortable in result of your movement!

I was excited to get to the end of every week from there after. The sad fact is, the survival rate for a infant born under 28weeks isn’t great, so every week we made it was a sigh of relief, a huge stress reliever, and a reassurance that every week you got stronger, and more equipped physically to handle this world. Your frail body needs to stay in there as long as possible until you’re ready to be born!

I Love You,
Mommy

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Did I,...Did I Realy Just See That?!

To my dear sweet baby,


I was excited to feel you move for the first time. I wish I had written down when I first felt you move, and jotted how many weeks I was. Maybe daddy can remember for me. I wasn’t sure it was you at first. It was always hard to tell from my stomach rumbling, digestion, gas, or whether it was really you moving and squirming around.

I remember though the first time I SAW you move. I wasn’t feeling good, daddy was tired, and we weren’t on our best behavior as far as getting along that evening. Mommy decided to take a bath and just relax. I was laying there in the nice hot water staring at my belly sticking out of the surface of the water that seemed to submerge the rest of my body. When our neighbor’s made a loud noise (possibly a shampoo bottle or something dropping in the shower on the other side of the wall) suddenly I saw my belly move…right near my belly button, or just below it. I was so unbelievably happy.

Up to that point during the pregnancy I hadn’t felt as connected to you as I had felt while I carried your sister in my tummy. As soon as I saw you move though, I fell deeply in love with you. I somehow knew just a little better then I did the second before. It was amazing.

I dreamt about you all night . . . I wondered if you were a little baby boy, or a baby girl; if you would have curly hair like your big sister, or blue eyes like her. I wondered what features you might have, and whether those features came more from mommy or daddy, or from your grandparents, and if so from which side!? I am very excited to meet you!

I Love You,
Mommy

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So Detatched...Whats Wrong With Me?

I felt so detatched during this pregnancy. Maybe it was because of how different the situation  in which I was pregnant with Kylyn, and this baby are. With Kylyn I was so attatched, I was so involved, I felt like I knew who she was, I knew she was a girl before we found out, I talked to her all the time, read to her, sang to her...all before she was ever born. With this baby I just almost would forget I was pregnant being so busy with Kylyn. Having to get ready to move, to start planning, packing etc. Thinking about being pregnant wasn't a top priority in my day for me. I knew I was pregnant, but this baby was a stranger to me, I didnt really have a huntch as to gender, or babys personality. I didnt have much time to just sit quietly and sing, read, or talk to my belly like I did so much with Kylyn.

Maybe something was wrong with me, maybe something still is. I feel much better today, alot more attatched, but still, compared to Kylyn, not even close to attatched as I was at this time with her. Hoping it will get better as we move along up until I meet her.

I Love you baby, I really do. You are so important to me, and everytime I feel off, or read a story about mommys loosing their babies I remember how blessing I am to have you, and to be able, Lord Willing, to keep you alive, and growing strong. You are my princess. It's going to take some time for mommy to learn how to be a mommy of two instead of just one, but im sure you will make it easy.

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Is it time to wake up already?

Oh! The joys of pregnacy! I have always liked sleep, but this was just ridiculous. Going to bed between 10-1am and sleeping in anywhere from 9:30am to 12pm!! My daughter didn't seem to mind, and most of the time slept right along with me, moving into her daddies spot in the bed after he would leave for work. She had her mornings where she would wake up extra early, but for the most part it was a good way to pass the time until my hubby came home from work.

I hadn't become uncomfortable yet as far as sleeping, and laying on my back wasn't a 'try not to do' thing yet, so when I slept at least I slept well! Probably resting up my body subconsciously for the months ahead when sleeping well, and comfortably weren't a likely option for me to take.

Either way I do like sleep, so not too much to complain about.

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Sleepless, and hungry

  Well, you would think by this time I would have been feeling better. Every morning no matter what advice I took to soothe my stomach, I always ended up sick. I was always hungry, because every time I did eat, I usually ended up seeing that food in the toilet 20-30 minutes later.

Baby, I loved you lots and lots, but I would have liked to keep some of my food. My pre pregnancy weight was 119lbs (yes I'm admitting it, but I should get props for loosing 6lbs before I found out I was pregnant, and was exercising the night we found out I WAS indeed pregnant. I was hoping to reach my target weight of 105lbs by summer but God had other plans for my time) but with all this vomiting I had been doing I had gotten down to 105lbs. My doctor didn't seem concerned at all, and I trust her, but ugh...I was so hungry!

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Doctor Time

To my dearest sweet baby,


I chose Dr. Eloise-Marie Clark to be my Doctor. She is the same Doctor who delivered your older sister, Kylyn. She is wonderful as strange and as odd as she can sometimes be. She is a very nice woman who takes good care of mommy, and always is concerned about you.

We went for my first appointment for mommy to get checked out, and for it to be confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. Of course the results were the same as those on those sticks. We were very excited . . . and so we went on to visit the doctor every 4 weeks waiting patiently to hit all those important milestones leading to the day you arrived.

I was excited to hit the end of the first trimester, and start the second. We had our first ultrasound and you were beautiful…you had the cutest little alien face. Just like your sisters!

profile

Alien face - straight on shot

         I Love You,

          Mommy

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We Told the Truth

To my dearest sweet baby,


We told my parents first, and then your daddy’s parents. It was exciting, and scary. Your daddy and I had the hardest time figuring out how to tell them. We planned to tell them at least 3 times before finally going through with it. We were honestly so scared. Ha-ha

We didnt want to tell others in fear of loosing you, so we told grandpa and grandma, and waited till I was in the 'clearer' for miscarrage. It was hard to make sure your grandpas and grandmas, aunties,and uncles wouldnt slip out our wonderful little secret.

So, we told my parents, or grandpa and grandma Mark and Dawniss Hanson...in an odd way? I showed my mom some pictures on my camera and ‘accidentally’ stumbled upon 3 photos that happened to be of those stick I mentioned before...at first mom didn’t get it, Brooke didn’t know what I was showing her, and finally it dawned upon her as Zack hinted.

We told your grandparents Wayne and Dena Hanson by playing a game called Balderdash, in which your daddy used the initials B.T.W.C.I.P . . . (the point is for them to make up an definition for the initials, trying to foll everyone into guessing that their definition is the real one, all the while trying to guess the REAL definition) Your daddy of course made up the initials, along with his idea of the definition, being By The Way Chelsie Is Pregnant. They didn’t quite get it at first either.
I can’t wait to meet you, and hold you. To put a face to that little body I know is growing inside of me.

I Love You,
Mommy

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It Was a Night to Celebrate

To my dearest sweet baby,


New Years Eve, the start of the year you were born, I peed on a stick. Not just any stick, but a stick that would result in shock, excitement, screaming, jumping, anxiety, stress, happiness, and all together a new addition to our little family of Three. Just to be sure though I peed on about 4 other sticks before I convinced myself the result wasn’t going to change. (nor did I want it to)

We celebrated not only the coming of the New Year, but the knowledge that we were now preparing to become a family of four instead of just three. We were playing the Wii, and exercising, and having a good time as a family just bubbly with joy and almost crazy out of our minds in shock. It was a good kind of shock though.

We were all so excited, and happy. Kylyn didn’t entirely know what was going on, but we did our best to explain. Your big sister wasn’t even quite 2 years old yet.

I am so excited for you to be here, for you to come and meet your daddy, and big sister. I’m very excited to meet you as well. Although you are growing inside of my own body, I am still so curious as to who you are! I want to know you, and see you, and touch you, and hold and cuddle you. I have to wait though, and it’s hard, but I know everyday you stay inside me, you grow bigger and stronger, and more equipped to come into this big world.

I Love You,
Mommy

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